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06 November 2012 @ 01:56 pm
So I haven’t updated in more than a year, which, to be honest, is surprising to me, being as I’m usually on top of these things. Personally, I’m still surprised that many of my friends still update these things at all! But it’s refreshing—I always liked Livejournal, it was a nice place to just…read. Glad to see others still take the time to write their thoughts out in the form of a journal, as opposed to a quick jab on Facebook.

So what’s been up…well, I finally have a job in my field, which is to say, I read journals about theater, opera, television, film, and production all day. It’s wonderful and quiet, and pays twice what Target (uck…) used to pay. I only wish everyone could find something that they enjoyed doing for a decent amount of money. It’s funny…whenever I hear someone making over $40,000 year, I STILL consider that rich. Because I sure as hell will never make that much. XD

We finally moved out of the old house to a bigger one ten minute away—it’s nice, still needs repairs, and more accustomed for party arrangements. I won’t be around too long, though, being as I’m also engaged (WAT), and scheduled to move out next year. Yeah, who would have thought someone likes me enough to say “hey, let’s do the legal thing where we share each other’s benefits!” It started off fairly rocky due to a bunch of unfortunate events early on, but I’m thrilled. He’s a good man, and I’m so grateful for him.

We plan to move somewhere in the country where we can have bunch of dogs, guns, and liquor.

Writing? Writing is steadily coming back to me. I’ve actually written quite a lot this year thanks to badgering myself with exercises and a heap of internal monologues. Working at a computer all day helps quite a bit, too.

I’ve also been trying to fight back an existential crisis lately. More on that…when I don’t feel like depressing myself.

Huh….I feel better about myself after writing some of this down. I should do it more often.

--*blows the dust off*--
Current Location: HQ
Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: Ivan Rebroff - Ochi Chernye
30 August 2011 @ 08:12 pm
Difficult to type...with a cat in the lap...goddammit..


Why does he only jump in my lap when I want to type?!?!
Current Mood: busybusy
Current Music: Marylinn Mair - Sevilla
23 February 2011 @ 03:35 pm
This year is the year that I've decided changes are finally going to be made. The last two years have been relatively uneventful as far..well, really important creative work goes. Plus job stuff. So, this year marks the year I finally get a name change, make plans to refinance for my dream car, publish a book, and look extra hard for a better-paying job. HOPEFULLY IN MY FUCKING FIELD OF STUDY. That's right, Target, I'm talking to YOU. You drain me of my creativity and me self-worth. Okay, I didn't need you for that part, but you sure aren't helping with making me feel like a valuable member of society! If some random jackass can just write stories about kid wizards and get off the food-stamps, so can I! If Spi can refinance his amazing credit score in hopes of a very nice piece of technology, so can I!!

I have stories to tell! I have self-worth and writing ability! I can be confident in my decisions, too!

Suck it, corporate haters, here I come! *leaps*

Thanks to Kain for making this video that helped me not to feel like a complete failure.

Current Location: HQ
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: Sam Means - Yeah Yeah
16 November 2010 @ 12:32 am
I am Mew!

Somehow, I managed to get one of my favorite pokemon. XD
Current Location: HQ
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: Tom Skyping.
23 September 2010 @ 03:06 am
Do you think having children is a fundamental human right? Should there should be any restrictions?

There needs to be standard IQ tests for those interested in breeding. Follow a stupid kid home, you find stupid parents. Also, I don't understand why so many people have children when they themselves have no money to take care of said children.

Also, America needs more free birth control for these chicks that consistently can't remember who the father of their kids is.

Come on.

Who has sex...with so many men...that you can't remember which one gave you KIDS.

Ranting is good writing practice. Maybe I should do these exercises more often.
Current Location: HQ
Current Mood: soresore
Current Music: Scratch Track - One of Those Days
31 August 2010 @ 01:42 am
If there was something you could change about your past, what would it be?

I would change the couple of times I should have kept my mouth shut about my feelings, which is the normal route for me. If I could just go back in time and kick the past me in the kneecaps for ever opening her big mouth about things, I'd tell her "Stupid! Keep quiet like you're s'posed to!" I'm not always a big fan of letting people know my real thoughts on stuff that concerns me, ya see.
Current Location: HQ
Current Mood: busybusy
Current Music: The Real Tuesday Weld - Terminally Ambivalent Over You
22 August 2010 @ 03:32 pm
Got back from Charleston, SC recently with Spi, Deagle, Uncle Tom, and Mallory. We had a pretty great time--stayed in a beach house only 4 minutes from the local beach. Only complaint was getting sick the day after we got there (I still say swimming in the ocean did it) and everyone but Deagle got loved on by a jellyfish. Being ill and not sleeping was probably the worst, though--I blame all that fresh air and sunshine. Perhaps next time we'll go on a winter vacation, where there are no jellies or 90 degree day-times.

Birthday came and passed. Maybe one day I'll actually do something planned/particularly exciting for my birthday. I don't know why, but I prefer to make a bigger deal out of everyone else's birthday than my own. Mine's just...I dunno. Not worth it, I guess. Tastes mundane, somehow.

This year has been one big anti-social experiment, it feels like. I haven't achieved much in that area. Maybe I'm burnt out from last year and the year before and the year before of hanging out all the damn time. Maybe I'm just a natural hermit. Don't get me wrong, I love all my my friends and family, but staying back from all the festivities this year has been pretty nice. I haven't gotten a lot of job work done yet (economy still isn't the best) but the time I get to myself is good to recharge upon. Plus, the amount of to-do lists piling up in my room (no joke, I have SEVERAL piles) is getting absurd. Plus, my room is a mess with books I'm supposed to be reading. One of these days, ya know. However, would you like to hear my big experiment idea? Okay, here goes: I want to live a month without any human contact. This would be EXTREMELY difficult, being as getting gas/groceries is rather dire. But if I could just stockpile a month's supply of each, I could do it. Oh yeah, psychologically, I could do it. I just don't have penny one for resources, nor the area in which I would achieve this in. I just want to know what I'd accomplish in a month with no human contact. Maybe I'll even stop reading the newspaper or checking news online. Total isolation for just a month: no anyone, no media--just me, music, maybe my cat, and a ton of books and paper/possibly a laptop for work. Goddamn, the more I think about it, the more I want to try this, just to see what I might do with myself. I'd miss yous guys terribly, of course--but this is for my science! Oh well....maybe one day.

In other jargon, my sister, Jennifer, was been in and out of the doctor's office for breast exams. Her left one has continuously showed signs of malicious cells, and she got a breast biopsy done the other day. Doctors did not like what they saw at ALL, so we're gonna hear the result sometime next week. I don't know if it's cancer or not, but we're all pretty concerned, and I might go down to see her when she's got her next appointment so that she can decide on the treatment type: radiation, more surgery....who knows. But I'm worried.

Target is drawing my to my wit's end, and my final breath. Whenever I listen to Tennessee Ernie Ford's "Sixteen Tons", I continuously think of Target, and how I've been stuck there forever. Writing jobs are slim and few, and there isn't much that will give me a more-than-decent salary because I have a college degree. Substitute teaching is looking like one of the only things available. But here's my main goal: to be finished with this store by this year's Black Friday. If I am still employed by Target on Black Friday, I have failed, and will proceed to throw myself off a bridge, face-first. Okay, not face-first. Okay okay, I won't throw myself off anything. But I'm scheduling paid vacation time in September to job search, and generally, relax around the house, taking some personal study time. I'll probably try to finish up the short-story book I've been trying to finish for publication, as well as the ol' poem collection, too. I'm excited. Some people get excited to go out to bars and clubs; I get excited to stay at home and read. Gotta say, the best part of my day is driving home from work early, knowing I don't have anything planned. >< That's pretty sad, huh.

Spi and I have definitely decided we are changing our names at some point--gonna be a weird process, but Murphy is definitely something I would rather go by. Same goes with getting sterilized--we still have to plan a date for that, too. Twin sterilizations! I am SO stoked!!

On the topic of writing, I haven't done much, and what I have done is job-related. Which sucks. As far as drawing goes, --guffaw-- like I have anything to show for that. I have lists and lists for potential ideas to draw....but no time to practice. Or patience. One of these days, I swear I'll do something worthwhile. Inspiration is a fleeting thing.

And there's my recent news, for anyone that still cares to read this thing. How's that for an update! Well good on me for at least doing that. Today, I am off to find argan oil for my hair, and possibly a flat-screen monitor for about 100 dollars, if I can manage it. Wish me lucks, for I am picky.

Current Location: HQ
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Ray Charles - Georgia On My Mind
20 April 2010 @ 07:44 pm
Do you often feel that random people ask you a lot of questions? Has anyone ever tried to ask you a lot of questions all at once? When people ask you a lot of questions all at once, do you ignore some of the questions? In those cases where someone asks you a load of questions, do you consider all the questions as one question, or maybe think of them as individual questions? After a lot of questions, if someone asks you to explain your answer, does that count as another question? Explain your answer.

I've gotten bombarded with a barrage of questions from strangers every now and then. People at work continue to do the same when the time strikes, like when a co-worker simply could NOT believe that I was female and did not like Stephanie Meyer. Of course, she blatantly ignored me after that. Generally, though, random people ask a lot of questions at work when I'm ringing them up, usually "did that hurt?" or "where'd you get that necklace?". But the more serious ones always come to "would you like to join our church?". The co-workers like to have long, drawn-out question sessions, usually centering around why I don't get interested in community events or sports events...or religious events. "why don't you" this and "why would you" that.
Current Location: HQ
Current Mood: coldcold
Current Music: Psychostick - Don't Eat My Food
13 April 2010 @ 01:00 pm
Took two melatonin to get to sleep last night, and all they do is make me drowsy. No more of that.

I'm in the process of rearranging my room in order to get the full space capacity out of it, being as it is rather small, but comfortable. It's in no way dirty, just packed with things, like a dorm room. Sadly, I can't find a light blue 4x6 or 5x7 shag rug ANYWHERE, and a lot of things need replacing, like my broken jewelry stand, huge tube monitor, clothes from 1993...you get the idea. Other problem is, I'm keen to using natural light to go about my day, but my room gets little daylight, and at night, I've taken to lighting it with various colored artificial lights, so that it looks like a little studio hub. Thinkgeek has a billion light-up things that sound keen, but the problem is picking which ones. The daylight scheme can't really be helped.

All this to make my room more comfortable to write in, so that I can be a freelance-writer like smart college grads. Geez, you guys that have jobs lined up immediately after college sure got off lucky...

Things to do: catch up on letter-writing, clean, rearrange, throw out unnecessary things, make time to go play in the park. And kill more trash-talking-shit bastards in TF2.

Current Location: HQ
Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: Amelie Soundtrack - La Valse Des Monstres
18 March 2010 @ 12:04 am
Trying to get back into the swing of things. I'm still in a creative rut, but with little lists and efforts to write again each day, I think I'm making a tiny bit of progress. Generally, I'm still pretty...urked about a lot of things. It will still be a while before I get back to high school status where I was writing a different story each day. But these lists that I quietly make at work of inspirations seem to help a little.

Need a piano, reaaalll bad.

As well as a vacation that doesn't shoot me in the foot. -.-


Current Location: HQ
Current Mood: blahblah
Current Music: Tom Waits - Strange Weather
I never update here anymore. Probably time for a bigger update then just a few sentences.

Meh, maybe later. Still alive, though. Alive and disappointed in even more than I was before.

All part of a day's work.

Current Location: HQ
Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: Old Crow Medicine Show - Cocaine Habit
02 November 2009 @ 03:06 am
Maybe I should update more often.
Current Location: HQ
Current Music: Tech Nine - In The Trunk
02 August 2009 @ 04:16 pm
So I've been working over in the back to school section of Target lately. Time to complain uselessly.

Notebooks/shirts marketed towards girls that say "Sweet" on them. So! What makes you sweet, you false advertisement? Is it the fact you love puppies and kitties, or the fact that you willingly suck more high school dick than a Catholic priest? And because you are a girl, does that automatically give you the right to think you're god's gift to men?? Or that you might become the best parent on the planet?? Fuck you're being sweetness and light! Get the hell outta my store! Take you and your face and pack up them pink underwears with words on the butt, and hit the bricks! Geez. All this from listening to kids complain about not being able to wear tank tops and short skirts to school.

/end pointless rant.

I wrote that at work, I did.

Current Location: HQ
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Current Music: Frankie Valli - Beggin'
Yesterday, I saw a white falcon sitting in our yard as I pulled up to the house. It looked at me like I were a speck of unsightly dust, and majestically flew away with a baby rabbit in its claws.

That was probably the most metal thing ever. XD

Current Mood: sleepysleepy
18 May 2009 @ 04:31 am
I think I take this test once a year. I think my results keep getting crazier. Will I become a hermit?

Paranoid:Very High

-- Personality Disorder Test --
-- Personality Disorder Information --

Current Location: HQ
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: Messer Chups
12 May 2009 @ 03:10 am
"One man's folly is another man's wife."--Helen Rowland

So does that constitute that someone finds his lady to be a shrew and a horror, while another thinks she's the sun and the moon? Or would that mean that "what one man won't accomplish for you, another man will"?

...That's a very interesting quote.

Current Location: HQ
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
Current Music: Frankie Valli And The Four Seasons - Beggin
04 May 2009 @ 11:33 am
I wish I could sleep for maybe three weeks. Maybe the dumb will be out of my system by then. I'm drained of energy as well as ideas.

What's everyone else doing?
Current Location: HQ
Current Mood: crappycrappy
Current Music: Chris & Thomas - Broken Chair
31 March 2009 @ 12:00 pm
I'm so tired of plenty of things, none that I can do anything about.

But I won't complain.

Complaining is the mind-killer.

I will keep all my opinions to myself.

There shall be no negativity on my part, for it only adds to head-ache and and nausea.

Keep my mouth shut, and listen to everyone else.

Anytime that I do, I get bapped on the nose like a bad dog, anyways. So what is the point.

Shut up, shut up, shut up.

Back to finding work/TRYING to work.

Current Location: HQ
Current Music: Elliot Smith - Waltz # 2
18 February 2009 @ 03:59 pm
Look guys. Stop the bullshit express. We can all be somewhat drama-free, if certain aspects are called to attention:

Self-respect is fine, but you are not a shining star, nor a beautiful and individual snowflake. You are a revamped, carbon copy of several million bodies before you. Compared to the infinite will of the universe, you are a fucking speck of dust. And so am I, we won't play favorites.

Don't hate someone without a decent reason [ex. if they are socially fickle, abusive, untrustworthy, stole your bike]...not just because they hang out with someone you don't like for what is probably a petty reason...

If you must be withdrawn, make it only for personal reasons, like trying to minimize conflict. PLEASE. To those you are close to. Be HONEST with them. Don't lead anyone on, back-talk uselessly, or make up stories about yourself to seem impressive.

And for chrissakes, if it ain't yours, give it back. Shit.

Don't be a douche to nice people, right???

I'm really fed up with hearing about all this nonsense occurring with my associates. I oughta become a hermit sometime.

Current Location: HQ.
Current Mood: irritatedirritated
Current Music: Tom Waits - Top of the Hill
26 January 2009 @ 09:21 pm

Dude-guy breaking out of the glass over and over again killed me.
Current Location: HQ
Current Music: Resident Evil Kirby Mix BS
My apologies for my absence. Here's a brief update:

Been sick in various spurts, and consequently allowing the messages and missed calls/messages on my phone to build, so forgive my lack of promptness on returning the calls to those that are concerned. Plus, attempting to get the house in order, cleaning, battling sleeplessness, entertaining guests from out of town, and any other adlepated responses you can think of. So if I am supposed to be meeting with you under any circumstances, by all means, abuse my message machine, and badger me until the dust of my fragments can pick up a phone and call you back.

No sign of whether or not I really and truly graduated...I participated in the ceremony and all the usual bangs and whistles, smoke and mirrors, but my Spidey senses continue to warn me of impending doomage. No real word on the matter until the 20th--my brain seizes with anticipation, so pardon me if I become a clinical vegetable for a while.

January is serving as a resting/regenerating month for me. The school schedule that work is used to is keeping until further notice, so it's a mite like an extended vacation. Thankfully, home holds a lot of lovely distractions to keep my mind off of what would be conceived as horrible predictions about the future, so the chances of going completely off the deep end are slim to nil. I am deeply enjoying my little slice of time off from what the locals call "the drudge of everyday life". We like to keep things interesting--especially when it involves drinks and Wario Ware on Gamecube. In a short while, I should be visiting in Tennessee, land of my birth, littering the ground with buckshot from a 20-gauge. Fuck yeah, I'm going shooting with dad.

My room is a cluster of battered, nostalgic loot. If I ever get any time to clean and go through it, I'll eat my hat. With maple syrup, no less. Lest I forget, my new year's resolution [while drinking eggnog and rum] was to drive a flaming truck through a wall of ice cream.

"Getcha little somethin' that you can't get at home..."

Current Location: HQ
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: Slava Kagan-Paley - Ave Maria
25 December 2008 @ 03:05 am
Annual xmas report from dad's house:

The house is even more different that last year: the deck has been repaired and painted, the yard dotted with flowery evidence of a Sears catalogue. The downstairs den is all old-style France and daybeds with quilts on them. My old room has been lifted of carpet with hard wood floors and painted gery-green, porcelin dolls lining a cabinet that holds dishes never to be eaten upon. All the rooms still feel cold, no matter how many ancient blankets you're under.

Watching A Christmas Story with dad and Jen made me wonder about why I hate christmas so much--used to a be a blast when you're a kid, everything was surreal and glowing. As an adult working in retail, you see all the tricks of the trade, and it's no longer madical and family-oriented; just business and money and making others happy. What a shame that things should end this way! The gaudiness of christmas is a huge let-down. But there is still one that that stops me in awe each year: well-done christmas lights.

Graduation has come and gone, but I have no idea yet if I even really passed--we are allowed to walk in the ceremony, but degrees don't get mailed out until three weeks post graduation. Therefor, if professors have not posted senior grabs, no one can clarify passing a course. Thus, my delimma--did I pass? Did I not? Fuuuuuck.

And now, as I wait my fate, it's vacation time--time to try and get some rest, eat sleeping pills, travel where I'm gaurenteed a place to stay, and keep working.

Time for bed.

Merry whatever. Keep yourselves up, and keep your heads off your shoulders. I will do my best to do the same.
Current Location: Dad's house
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: Petrov - A Naposledok Ya Skazhu
08 December 2008 @ 03:23 pm
I will shit bullets if I see one more vampire/vampire-loves-human novel series. Then host a convention for its writers in a gas chamber from the holocaust.

Fall in love with a wrecking ball, that'd be tons more interesting.

Current Location: Jen's
Current Music: The Chemical Bros - Come Inside
01 December 2008 @ 09:38 pm
First thing's first--California people: if you still would like to receive post cards from me, please email me your mailing address. My email's MoonLily16@aol.com
It makes me crazy how my hair becomes an inky, curly-black mess after I wash it.

Nothin' but school and work and priorities. When I AM up to it, I just don't have any socialization energy, making most people pretty angry with me. Gets me to wondering if things will actually change after graduation. IF I graduate. Jeesuz christ, there are no surprises, and I'm sick to death of being wrong all the time. Perhaps I hold people too accountable.

Took three sleeping pills the other day, and still woke up several times. Must be building a tolerance to 'em.

Art's down, writing's down, and my drive to do anything is exceedingly low. I have no idea what should be done about this. Would something surprise me already?!

Captain Hermit, in effect. Back to homework.

Current Location: Jen's
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: Orbital - Shadows
03 November 2008 @ 12:40 pm

Commencement will be held on Saturday, December 20
at 9:00 a.m. in The Bank of Kentucky Center.


DATE: Saturday, December 20
LOCATION: The Bank of Kentucky Center

The BOK doors will open to guests at 8:00 AM on December 20.
The commencement ceremony should conclude by 11:00 AM.
Following the ceremony, graduates and their guests are invited to a complimentary reception in The Bank of Kentucky Center.
Tickets are not required for the ceremony.

A LOT of people canceled going because it's so close to Christmas, or they simply can't make it. Confirmed: I think mom and dad are the only ones going. Damn, man...anyone from out of town wanna come watch? I'll buy you a bus ticket. Shoot.
Current Location: Jen's
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Current Music: Ladytron - This Is Our Sound