Something compels us to find meaning in life outside of bio-meaning and reproduction. How we do behave versus how we should behave; is a moral problem a malfunction? Well, we have more elbow-room...most species are limited, sense of opportunity restrained. The most interesting tidbits about us could be reduced to levels of genes. All behavior, apparently.

I must have huns and Vikings of sarcasm in my ancestry somewhere, if that is the case.

We are products of nurturing and environment; nature sets the limits and nurture sets environment. One day, I hope to alter the environment by melting down the status quo into a puddle of delicious-looking gel. Reguardless, we’re raised and molded in the youth, and some of us luckier kids get reshaped into a nicer and more aerodynamic figure later on, molding ourselves into more personalized individuals through use of outside influence from people that had nothing to do with your bloodline.

Thusly, that is how I came to be a straight-up G. Yo, werd, represent. Gang sings.

In more personal news, looking forward to some more free time on the weekends...to apply at bookstores that will give me more hours than Target does now. Hour-cutting Target, how they mock me and my whole year and a half of service.

And now, here’s Marvin with the weather:
Marvin: “...It snowed at NKU, and only flurried dinky fluffs of nothing in Louisville! Seems the elated snow fairy missed on purpose. Sorry, Louisville!”. Growl. Damn weathermen.

At least there was no ice on the roads, but some sort of heavy snow would be nice before it gets too warm, nyu.

I wish sleep would punch me in the face. ;_; Oh well.









Now let's go clubbin. You an' me.
---MURPHY---

I am overly-medicated and fractured in more ways than a lot. Earlier, I stressed over money problems and buying textbooks. Now I’m circling the apartment debating the three levels of doubt, and leaning towards number two. The prospect that you might be dreaming and nothing is real is unclear, and do you decide what’s real? The mind tells you it is, but can you be sure...well, those of us watching reality from glass boxes while rolling circles might not be.

Sense Experience - Can be deceiving. Confliction of low and high quality experience, such as sitting by a fire and knowing that your hand is warm. Cause and effect. Sensory knowledge can’t always be trusted.

Dreaming - Reality is certified in what is known as “dreams”. An external reality lies in your subconscious. Comprehensively, the most vivid image in a dream constitutes as plausible reality in other terms, and waking life is a pale shadow of a possible true reality. We only use 10% of our brains. Am I a butterfly dreaming I’m a plate of sushi?

Evil Demon - Our “traditional deity” is deceiving us. Through all the traditional religions, the one that is known to be the most forgiving is in fact the most cruel and mind-warping. For believers, there are two versions: the all-knowing and yet deceiving God, or the evil mind demon crawling all over the insides of the sleeping philosopher. Any belief can be false, it’s possible. However...the Demon can’t make me doubt that I am doubting, and to doubt is to think.

The dangerous part is doubting your
own sense of doubt.

All this lusting after knowledge all day has made me achy, thirsty, and dreaming of a being in love with an untouchable phantom. What’s a dude to do? Kill things in Unreal Tournament. Then write about it like it's going to be published. Speaking of publications, I am currently back to work on my novel Autumn for anyone who cares.

Back to apartment-circling in the dark, cossack music in the background.









Fighter jet says "So can I".

--MURPHY--