Dad's new form of entertainment is to insult me in a very nice tone of voice. For example, early today, he asks if Steve is leaving soon. I say yeah, end of the month. He askes, sweet as sugar, mind you, "Well, if he cares about you so much, why is he leaving?" like it was everyday conversation. Marcy got pissed. Dragged him off to yell at him, and told me to go ahead and leave as soon as I could. All's I could say to him was "not everyone can stop everything they've got planned for their lovelife. It'd be selfish to think so, huh, dad?" I come home later today, and he's still doing the same thing. Oh well. He'll be happy when everyone is out of Kentucky. That's one out of many. Still...everything he said is pretty damn unfair to say.

Now is the point in my life where I realize my worth and/or value in the world. Ezekial and I had a strange conversation a while ago about it, and his analyzation confirms my views. Everything is starting to boil down to a few glistening fragments of what is important: school, deriving great pleasure from assisting others, etc. Sometime before my grandmother died, I remember her saying something along the lines of having to stick with what you're good at. But since I'm not good at much of anything...I suppose I have lots to figure out. I hope to one day make someone, anyone, proud of me.

I do apologize for all of the craptastic posts recently. I am normally a very happy person...but so many things have been worrying the hell outta me lately. I am coping with putting them off, for now, and just getting on with other plans. Mommy says that I should forget about worrying, and ask someone to spend one-on-one time with me for a day, just to clear the air, ya know...but I doubt anyone would wanna do that. ^^;; As realization kicks in, things are getting better. Sorta.


So inspite of it all, let's be positive. Congrats to dad and Marcy for tieing the knot. Marcy...good luck. XD

( And here's a questionaire, for fun. )